Plumbing Project
by Sanaryelle
Summary: A humorous scene about a past Abhorsen installing plumbing in her House, much to Mogget's dismay.


_A/N: "Hot springs", commented Mogget. "You won't smell it after a while. Your father always said that having permanent hot water was worth bearing the smell. Or was it your grandfather who said that? Or your great-great-aunt? Ah, memory…" According to me, Sabriel's great-great-aunt said it! I hope you like this one; I had to research hot springs and plumbing! The things I do to write a story…_

_Thanks, Zallah, for the correction! And for the lovely review, too!_

_Disclaimer: Ancelstierre, the Old Kingdom, and everything within them belong to Garth Nix. As you can tell from Mogget's quote, this particular Abhorsen isn't completely mine either – but I claim Idiriel's name and personality._

**Plumbing Project**

Idiriel, forty-ninth Abhorsen, was in very high spirits. She hummed happily as she fitted together two iron pipes, holding them in place between her legs as she tightened the bolts. She loved the manual labour, a fact which had always confounded her family. As a very accomplished Charter Mage, Idiriel could accomplish several things with a quick spell, but the Abhorsen preferred the physical exertion and the intellectual challenge that came with her little projects. There was something very satisfying about completing a job well and knowing the effort you put into it.

This time, however, she had not taken on just some "little project". This one had required months to plan, and months more to complete, but now she was finally on the finishing touches. If only she could just get this blasted bolt tightened…

"Are you going to tell me what that is, or will I have to scratch you?"

Idiriel looked up, brushing a sweaty strand of hair out of her face. A white cat sat primly in the doorway of the Abhorsen's bedroom, tail curled around his little paws.

"Hello, Mogget," Idiriel said good-humouredly. "Been fishing again?"

The cat wrinkled his delicate nose. "Don't try to change the subject", he warned in a low voice. "You have refused to tell me about this insane new project you're working on for too long. Fine. But now it looks as though you'll be finished, and you cannot hide its purpose forever."

The woman rolled her eyes expressively and turned back to her work. "Just sit tight, Mogget," she said in that cheerful tone of voice that she knew irritated the white cat. "I'll be done in a minute, then I'll show you what it does. I promise."

The cat snorted and rolled his eyes, but he had to be satisfied with that answer. Mogget trotted a little closer to watch her work, and Idiriel did her best to ignore him.

She braced her arms and tightened the bolt with a grunt. When she tested the pipes, she found them nice and snug to her satisfaction. Idiriel did not look like it at first glance, but she was quite strong. Her long flowing surcoat hid broad shoulders and sturdy limbs, but nothing could hide her rough and calloused hands. Her mother Jerizael had scolded her for her coarse appearance, calling her a "little farm girl" in exasperation. Idiriel didn't mind much; farmers were tough. And as a child, Idiriel had always bested her brother in wrestling matches, even though he was only a year younger than she.

It was this strength that came in useful for all of her little jobs around the house. She had built additional shelves for the study, repaired the tiled roof several times, planted young trees in the oak grove and mulched them, and constructed a new door painted a pretty shade of sky blue. Her skills in construction had come in handy when she fashioned small sleds out of carved firewood for her nephew and niece, and she often diverted herself by decorating the Abhorsen's House both outside and in.

Mogget cocked his furry head to the side as she fitted another piece of pipe to the two others and started to bolt it in place. "You know," he said conversationally, "You remind me of a certain other Abhorsen. Your great-grandmother's cousin, I believe. She made the Paperwing."

"She did?" Idiriel asked, perspiration dripping down her temples.

"Certainly," the cat answered stuffily. "Of course, she wasn't as crude as you. Much of her work was in Charter magic, not only silly toys. "

"You'll be pleased to know, then, that this particular project required a great deal of magic," the woman managed to puff as she tightened another bolt.

"Indeed?"

"Yes," answered Idiriel patiently. She reached for the final bit of iron pipe, this one with a bronze wheel attached to the end. "You may not see the spells, because most of them are deep underground."

Mogget's eyes travelled over the pipes, over the wheel, and down to a drain she had recently installed in the ground. Idiriel waited for the realization to set in. "Wait a minute…" the cat muttered. His tail twitched involuntarily, and Idiriel could see the cat's thoughts click into place. Any moment now he would say it…

"You are crazy!"

The Abhorsen snorted with laughter, almost dropping the piece of pipe. "Crazy?" she repeated, hiccupping slightly as she fought for composure. "I call it smart, Mogget. For how many generations have sendings heated water on the kitchen stove for the Abhorsen's baths? This is so much more convenient."

The cat cocked his head to the side, green eyes flashing. "Only a lunatic would devote all this time and effort into something as trivial as this. Especially when there are Dead to be banished – _and_ a body to be found."

Idiriel sobered immediately, cursing Mogget for being so depressing. "I've searched the Kingdom long and hard for Kerrigor," she insisted, her voice growing uncharacteristically cold. "Do not accuse me of avoiding my duties."

Mogget inclined his furry head ironically. "As you say, mistress," he mewed.

The Abhorsen turned back to her work, attaching the lat piece of pipe with rather more force than was needed. By the time the final bolt was tightened, however, she had recovered her good humour. "There," she said happily, rubbing her hands together with satisfaction. "Should we try it out?"

"Not while I'm here."

"Come on, Mogget," Idiriel laughed. "It's perfectly safe."

The cat lashed his tail. "Forgive me if I do not trust you on that, Abhorsen."

The woman sighed and shook her head, smiling broadly. "I spent a lot of time planning this," she explained. "Water is pumped from the hot springs to an underground reservoir through iron pipes. The terrain around the reservoir and pipes are saturated with heat, so the water naturally stays hot. From the reservoir, water travels up the pipes to this faucet here." She rested her hand on the bronze wheel. "Turning this wheel will open up the pipe, and allow the water to flow."

"I see," Mogget sniffed, leaning slightly closer. "And where is all the magic in this incredible plan?"

The corner of Idiriel's mouth quirked up in a half-smile. "The pumps I crafted work on Charter-spells, and another temporary spell is holding the water back. I need to release it before we can test this."

The cat eyed the end of the pipe warily. "If you're sure that it's safe…"

Idiriel closed her eyes, and gradually released the series of spells that held the water in check. Once that was done, she reached forward, and turned the wheel.

Water shot straight out of the end of the pipe, and Mogget was bowled over with an ear-splitting shriek. Idiriel quickly reached forward, shutting off the flow with an almighty wrench on the wheel. Her heart was pounding rapidly. "I'm sorry!" she cried.

The cat was absolutely soaked, white fur plastered to his skin. A large puddle was forming under his feet, and fat round drops trickled from his whiskers. This, however, was nothing compared to the fury in Mogget's expression. The Abhorsen felt herself blushing, and she fiddled with her sleeve. "I didn't know it'd be like that," she mumbled nervously. "I guess I'll have to adjust the spells on the pumps, and lower the water pressure…"

Her voice trailed off and she stared at Mogget. The water had all dripped out of his fur, and now he looked perfectly dry again! Before Idiriel could wonder further on this, the cat sprang out of the puddle, landing on a dry piece of floor, and glared at her. "I'll never trust you if you say something's 'perfectly safe' again!" he snapped, green eyes flashing like fire.

"I'm sorry," the woman apologized again. "I really didn't know that would happen." She turned to look at the pipe, and a smile slowly spread over her face. "It _did_ work, though, didn't it?" she said gleefully.

Mogget gave her a look of absolute disgust. "Only if you think that hot water shooting out of the wall with the force of a hammer is a success." The cat walked delicately around the miniature lake that was spreading across the floor, and perched on the bed. He raised his head suddenly, and wrinkled his pink nose. "What's that smell?"

Idiriel sniffed the air, and shrugged. "It's just sulphur from the hot springs. We'll probably get used to it after a while. Besides," she shot Mogget a mischievous grin, "Having permanent water is worth bearing the smell. Don't you think?"

Mogget did not even honour her with an answer, and trotted out of the room, his tail held disdainfully high. Idiriel got to her feet and gathered up her tools, smiling happily at the thought of being able to take all the warm baths she wanted. The Abhorsens after her would thank her for this invention, she just knew it. But first, she would have to adjust the spells on the water pumps, unless she wanted to end up like Mogget.

The memory of seeing the Abhorsen's eldest servant knocked over by a jet of water was enough to trigger a wave of laughter. Her shoulders shaking with mirth, Idiriel picked up the last of her tools and walked out of the room.

_A/N: So, what did you think of it? Sorry for torturing Mogget like that; I just couldn't resist! Please review. They take so little effort, but make me very happy! Do your good deed for the day._


End file.
